Appreciating the Love of Family This Mother's Day

By Philip Joks

“Honestly, there's probably some great people in your life that you haven't even noticed how great they are.” Experiencing Love Ep 131

Hello, and welcome to Experiencing Love. I'm your host, Philip Joks, and I'm so glad that you're here. Today was a very beautiful Mother's Day. I got to spend it with my wonderful family and to share some good times and good laughs with them. On the way home, with my mom, my dad, and my little brother in the car, I really got to thinking about this special day.

It's really easy to take people for granted in our lives on a day like today. The focus is all about our moms. We all have one. We were all born somewhere, somehow. And I understand that some people have more favorable histories than other people do. Not everyone grew up with sunshines and daisies.

I really appreciate the way I was raised and how I grew up. I had a great childhood, and as far as I can expect, I had the typical teenage experience, or I guess I should be more specific in saying the angsty teenage experience. I was always on edge, never happy. That's not true. I was only happy when I got my way. And I was learning fairly often that I couldn't always get my way. That's part of the learning process.

And I appreciate everything about it because every little piece that I've experienced over the last 23 years has led to this very moment. And a lot of that is in part because of my parents, because of my mom. I once heard of this concept referred to as effective blaming. I heard it at a Tony Robbins seminar. And it has to do with this idea that if you're going to blame someone in your life for all the challenges and the hardships and the negative outcomes that you experienced, it's only right, and it's only fair that you blame them for the good things, too.

Whenever he first describes it, there is an immediate reaction. Some people have had such a challenging childhood that they don't believe any good came from it. And the thought gets provoked that you have become a certain person because of your past. There's many people who have had challenges, but because of that, they've become strong. They've become determined. They've become motivated to be different. They've created relationships and outcomes that will never mirror what they went through, what they experienced.

And so part of effective blaming is looking at those outcomes as well and blaming them on your past, on your history, and on the people in your past. If you're going to blame your mom or your dad for all the negative things that you experienced as a kid, you also have to blame them for the good that it created. Nothing is ever all good or all bad. It's always gray. It's always in between. Admittedly, there could be a heavy weighting towards negative, but it's never all bad.

The strongest people that I know in my life are only that way because they overcame a challenging past. I'd argue that if you don't have as much of a challenging past, then you should make it your goal to create a challenging present. Because so long as you don't overcome challenges, you're not going to grow anyways. I feel like I'm getting a little off topic, because my focus is that no matter what I may have experienced, good or bad, I look to my parents and I look to my mom, specifically this special day, with gratitude, with gratitude, with appreciation, with understanding.

I was not an easy kid, or maybe at times I was. And I've had my moments. And I know that my parents did their best. Everybody does the best that they can with the resources they have. Sometimes we think someone should be doing more, and maybe we want them to be doing more, but they don't have the resources to do that. That could be physical resources like money, or it could be things like time, energy, or a mindset even.

So everybody's doing the best that they can, and my hope for them is that everybody keeps doing better and better. So as I continued this drive back home, I was just appreciating all the moms out there. Everybody's doing their best, and everybody has shared some level of love with the world. Us being here is a sign of love. I won't get too deep into the beliefs here, but I know that in one way or another, there was an act of love that occurred for us to be where we are right now.

I love my mom. I love both my parents. I love my siblings. I love my entire family. Sometimes I think it gets a little chaotic or hectic or silly to look at all the holidays that we have on the calendar. And at the same time, I can show gratitude for them because they interrupt the pattern. And it gives opportunities for days like today to really just appreciate the other people in your life.

I have some really great people in my life, and I know you do, too. Honestly, there's probably some great people in your life that you haven't even noticed how great they are. My favorite are the ones that are hardest on us, the ones that challenge us the most. Those are the keepers of our lessons. We take them for granted, we want them out of our lives, and yet we don't see them for the gift that they are.

I do want to leave today as a short episode because today is a focus on the family. Today is a focus on the people in our lives. So whatever time that you were prepared to listen to this episode or listen to other content, I'd love if you just reach out to someone in your life. Maybe they're sitting right in front of you or maybe they're a thousand miles away but take this opportunity to just say hi, tell them that you're thinking about them, tell them that you love them. Whatever you have to do to start the conversation, be interested in the other person. That type of interest and that type of extension of yourself is more appreciated than you know.

So, go out and love someone today. At the very least, love yourself. I hope you have a peaceful rest of your day. Remember to always fill up with love, and I look forward to seeing you in the next one. I love you.

Craving deeper insights into gratitude and our complex relationships? Dive into the heartfelt narrative that sparked this post by tuning into the original podcast episode. Listen now for a journey through love, challenges, and the power of effective blaming — a story shared with warmth and wisdom by Philip Joks. This Episode On Spotify

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